There are many things to consider when the idea of divorce first pops in your mind. You think of the changes it will bring in your life, with most being negative. The financially stable, two-paycheck lifestyle you enjoy may be replaced with an uncertain future. You go back and forth with your decision, wondering if freedom is worth reclaiming at the price of your once-luxurious lifestyle.
As with anything you do, if you are not happy with it, it will only lead to more problems. Here are several things that could happen if you ignore that need for divorce just to keep living the affluent life:
You Feel Lost
Letting unhappiness settle into your marriage means that you are giving up your freedom. You wake up and go through the motions of the day, eager to get back to bed and sleep — and the cycle continues. You do not look forward to activities that used to make you happy.
Even your friends take a backseat, as you cannot tell them that you want to be in contact with divorce lawyers but you did not push through with it, and so you live with that decision by yourself. In Long Island, many couples stay in a loveless marriage not knowing that the other person is also considering divorce. They do not want to be the first one to break after all.
This should not be your response to the situation, as this means you are wasting time being unhappy instead of finding yourself and hopefully starting over with someone better.
You See All the Cracks
No marriage is perfect, but when two people love each other, they see past the imperfection and are content with what they have in each other. It’s a classic case of loving someone despite their flaws. For marriages that have been abandoned by love, however, the halo effect turns to the opposite: the horns effect.
Instead of your partner’s positive traits making them desirable, even if they have a few shortcomings, you associate all the negative aspects of the relationship with them. You had to give up your dream because of them. You said no to a lucrative job opportunity because it will not work with your personal commitments. You cannot spend your earnings because of the mortgage on the house you purchased together. You think you have lost and it’s all because of your partner.
You Turn to Material Things for Validation
You feel unloved and unhappy, and because money was one of the reasons you decided you stay, you spend it as much as you can. This becomes your source of strength and, to a certain degree, revenge.
You think your spouse has won because you are still in the marriage. Surely, they wouldn’t mind you splurging their hard-earned money, right? This does not lead to anything good, and if you continue to act out through spending rather than sitting down with your spouse to tell them that you want a divorce, you may just find yourself in the middle of a financial turmoil. You will remain unhappily married and this time, you also cannot afford the lifestyle you didn’t want to give up in the first place.
Admitting that you want a divorce is never easy. Some may say you are giving up on something that can be fixed. When you feel your freedom hangs in the balance, however, always choose yourself instead of choosing to suffer for material things.
